I’ve been sitting here wondering how I am supposed to put what I’m about to say in words, but there is no easy way. Some people may think its inappropriate, but I don’t really care as I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed off.
Yesterday, Stuart and I went to the hospital to get the results of the CT Scan I had a week ago. Deep down I knew it wasn’t going to be good news. You can try and be as positive as possible but deep down you have to listen to how your body is feeling. My Consultant took us into her room with my Oncology Nurse and told us that my tumors have become more dense and my ovaries more enlarged. The Chemotherapy I have been having to tackle Bowel Cancer hasn’t worked. This makes them think that the biopsy I had months back was wrong even though the histology pointed towards the Bowel being the primary source. We were given two options do nothing and I would have 6 months (apparently this is something they have to offer in case you don’t feel up to more Chemo) or try a Chemotherapy which targets the Ovaries. However, there is no guarantee this is going to work. I asked about them operating and removing my ovaries and they said they couldn’t guarantee I’d wake up from it and any type of operation would delay treatment as I would have to recover first.
I have no option but to try the Chemotherapy. This time I will lose my hair and the side effects are more or less the same as before. The treatment is called Paclitaxel and Carboplatin and I will have it every 3 weeks starting next Wednesday.
On top of all that after my arm going blue over the weekend I’ve been told I have a blood clot in my Hickman Line which showed up on the CT a week ago but I only got told on Tuesday afternoon. It’s all a big mess!! So I am having my Hickman Line taken out tomorrow.
Needless to say Stuart and I and our whole family are devastated. I am angry that it has come to this, but we have to keep the fight going. If only my Crohn’s doctor had just listened to me in April, maybe it would have been caught earlier!!