Daughter of Les & Joan Allan and sister to Chris, Katie originated from Belfast and settled in Fradley, Staffordshire with husband, Stuart, and two children, Sam and Sophie.

Katie wrote this blog to share her story, improve awareness and spread inspiration & positivity amongst families, friends and others 'battling cancer - one day at a time'

Katie Scarbrough
04 March 1981 - 02 May 2013

brick

A Brick Wall

This blog was intended to be about Center Parcs, but with everything that has happened since then I don’t have the motivation to do it.

This could potentially be my last blog and if you keep on reading you will find out why. I am warning you now, tissues will be needed!!

After our trip to Center Parcs, Stuart and I got our referral to The Christie in Manchester. The Christie specialises in Bowel Cancer. We drove the 2hrs or so to Manchester and arrived quite early for our appointment. The staff were so nice and explained a lot to us. They said that they couldn’t offer me any trials, as the one they may have had closed the week before. I had had my bloods done whilst I was there and the Doctor went to get the results. When she came back she mentioned my Bilirubin level, which is part of my liver function and causes you to become jaundiced if too high. She said that it was too high for being accepted on any trial. I asked what I could do to bring it down and she said steroids. But I am already on the highest dosage of daily steroids. So we knew straight away trials were out of the question as my liver is only going to get worse. She also said they wouldn’t operate either and there was nothing they could do for me. I was numb and in tears, the doctor was clearly upset too and said that I had a rare cancer but if she could do anything they would as she could see how determined I was to do something.

We left The Christie deflated but still had hope that Professor Stebbing from Harley Street would come up with something. We drove down the M6 trying to absorb the information we had just been given and drove mostly in silence.

The next morning I looked at my emails to be dealt another blow. Professor Stebbing had emailed me back to say that he couldn’t do anything further for me either and the treatment I am receiving is what he would do too. I had read the email just before Stuart took the kids to school, as I couldn’t bring myself to tell him until he came back. We had hit a brick wall and for the life of me I couldn’t think of what to do next. The cancer has beaten me!!!

Over the weekend we did look into alternative therapies like Vitamin C but because I can hardly eat anything that really isn’t an option. I had also become very uncomfortable due to the fluid building up in my tummy and feeling like the grim reaper is sitting on my shoulder.

On Sunday after watching Jurassic Park with the kids we decided it was time to tell them something. We have said all along we don’t want to lie to them. We told them that mummy’s medicine isn’t working anymore and there isn’t anything more the doctors can do for me. Sam looked at me and I asked him what that made him think, he said that you’re going to die. I said yes. Stuart, Sam and I burst into tears. That was the hardest thing I have EVER had to do. Sophie was bouncing round the room. I explained to Sam that Sophie doesn’t understand as she’s so young. He then explained to her saying mummy’s calpol medicine isn’t working. She came over and said she didn’t want me to die.

We had an oncologist appointment for Tuesday (yesterday) and we knew it wasn’t going to be good news. She reiterated about the fact the cancer was stable on the peritoneal and ovaries but had grown on the liver and bones. I asked to get my tummy drained as the fluid had built up and I was very uncomfortable, which she organised. The fluid build-up is another sign the medicine isn’t working. I asked how long it would take for my liver to give up and she said a few weeks. My doctor said there wasn’t anything more that they could do and I knew that in my head, but it’s hard to hear. I told her I don’t want to suffer I would rather die on the operating theatre. However I understand if the surgeon even did agree to it he would be struck off if I died especially going into an operation knowing fine rightly I could die.

I was admitted to hospital after my appointment and a drain put in. I’ve had 2.5litres taken off which has helped. Now it’s all about symptom control. I am not in a great way, my head is strong but my body is giving up. My back is sore, my lower left hand side were my liver is sore and today my eyes have started to go yellow. I am also very thin and can only eat small amounts of food.

I think at this point I am in denial about what is going to happen. I really don’t know how to die, does anybody? Stuart and I are numb, devastated and trying to keep things normal for the kids. But this is very far from a ‘normal’ situation. I had booked a birthday party for Sophie but had to cancel it today as it would prove to be too much of a hassle with my health the way it is.

I am hoping to go home tomorrow. It is too late to think of a ‘Bucket List’ but I want to go to the beach on the south coast and feel the wind on my face and watch the kids play on the sand. We may do that next week, depending on how I am feeling, but I think Stuart is too nervous taking me anywhere. The few things on my ‘Bucket List’ are finding out what sex my brother and sister in laws baby is. I also want my Brother in Law Scott and his partner Andrew to get married. The last one was the This Morning sofa, but that isn’t going to happen.

It’s really difficult to explain how I feel. I am angry, confused, and teary and find myself staring into space all the time not really thinking of anything. I am more worried about Stuart as he isn’t one for sharing his feelings. But I know he is a great Dad and he has a wonderful family behind him who will look out for him. You don’t think when you have kids that you won’t see it through and see them grow up into adults and this is what’s hard to take in more than anything. The fact I won’t see what type of man Sam will grow into and what type of woman Sophie will grow up to be, what job they will have, who they will marry, get to know my Grandkids, be there on their wedding days and generally be their mum as they so need a mum. And that’s supposed to be my job!!!! Aaagggghhhhh It makes me so angry.

I want to say Thank You to everyone who has read my blog, commented, and donated money. You are all amazeballs!!

xxxxx

70 Comments

  • Jennifer Callender Says

    Katie I am so sorry hun I really don’t know what too say xxxx

  • Emma Clark Says

    Am so so sorry. For you to even be able to write that blog, whilst going through what you are going through, shows what a strong courageous lady you are. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Natalie Says

    There are no words anyone can say to make any of this any easier on you, Stuart or the children. I wish there was x x

    I am hoping that whilst Scott is sat sunning himself in Florida and reads this, he will fulfil your wish and propose to Andrew. Also that Debbie and Chris, even if they do not want to find out for themselves, but that they will find out the sex, and have it emailed/sent in the post to you, so they still don’t get to know, but you will.

    The beach on the south coast sounds lovely Katie, hopefully this fine weather will continue and you can all enjoy a family day at the seaside together. Maybe take Stuart’s parents along too if Stuarts worried about travelling alone.

    I like to believe those we have lost are looking over us and have seen us grow and develop into who we are today.

    You have made such an impression on so many people Katie, all around the world and many have never even met you to appreciate how genuinely wonderful you are.

    As always you, Stuart, Sam and Sophie are very much in my thoughts x x x x

  • Sharon Says

    Wow how amazing you are …. I am in tears and moved beyond! Your family sound amazeballs – as do you. Take care lovely – lots of love and fairy wishes xx

  • Margaret Currie Says

    Katie, your children have a strong courageous mum and a wonderful dad so they will grow up strong, courageous, kind, caring and with the legacy of an amazing mum. You are in my thoughts and prayers as are your family. I am proud to have been able to follow your story and have had communication with you. A true Belfast diamond xxxxx

  • I am so sorry to read this, I don’t know what to say. You are in my thoughts & prayers always xxx

  • Anna Says

    I dont know you but after reading this blog entry i think you are one amazing women. My father died of lukemia when he was 58 years of age and that was far too young and he to has missed my wedding and 3 grand-daughters.
    I am really sorry to read that there is nothing left that can be done but im sure you dont want people feeling sorry for you so i will just say good luck for your future and im sure your husband will bring your children up superbly with you looking over them all xxxxxx

  • Kate Says

    Katie,

    I’ve never met you but your words are probably more inspirational than most I’ve ever read.

    You’re going through every mother’s worst nightmare – leaving her children to be looked after by someone else – but your husband will be strong because he’s had you behind him. Your children will remember you as the best mum in the world and they’ll grow big and strong because Stuart will help them along the way and because you’ve given them the best start.

    I’d love to be able to give words of comfort but sadly I fear there are is little anyone can say to help you at the moment.

    Try not to dwell on the future which is out of your hands but look back on the best times
    you’ve had.

    And yes, I do need the tissues now.

    Much love to you all.

    Kate xxx

  • Catherine McDowell Says

    Katie, you have done more for your children than you could ever imagine. They will grow up knowing what a strong, wonderful & truly amazing lady their mummy is. You have shown a strength & determination that has astounded people all over the world. You should be proud of everything that you are doing to make people aware of this terrible disease. You truly are an inspiration. If ever I can help you or your family in any way you know where I am.

    You take care, you really are amazeballs.

    Catherine X

  • Maxine Vaughan Says

    Reading your blog is so sad, my heart goes out to you and your family Katie..

    I just hope you can enjoy the time you have left with your wonderful husband and your beautiful children.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Love Maxine xxx

  • Lesley Shannon Says

    Katie

    You have touched my heart but you do not need words from me to know that you will always have a special place in my heart. Laura & you would have been the best of friends you are both beautiful girls and that is clear both on the inside and the outside. Stuart, Sam and Sophie will always be so proud of you and how brave you are. Laura told me before she passed away that she was not brave! Two of the bravest girls in the World. always more worried about your loved ones around you both instead of yourselves. My heart is breaking for you and for Stuart and the children. Laura was so brave and fought to the end and you and Laura are inspiration to others to never give up the fight and Deborah Alsina @ bowel cancer UK is another inspirational lady that does so much to help Laura and yourself and continues to support the families and loved ones of those battling cancer. Just know that I love you Katie and there are no words that I can say other than take care of each other lots of cuddles and kisses and thinking of you all Lesley x

  • RJ Says

    Hi Katie, i don’t know you but i know Vicky who you know through skating and she had this on her page so i read it. honestly can not even begin to think or feel how you are feeling. leaving a family behind would be terrifying not to mention dying. all i can say is God really does love you! I don’t know your believes but I pray you find peace and comfort at this really hard time and can face these tough week ahead with reassurance that You are loved! Xx

  • Lynn Parish Says

    Katie, I too have been following your blogs & have been moved to tears several times, but more so today.
    I can only imagine what you have been going through & I too believe you to be a strong & brave young lady. My heart goes out to you & all your family. You are in my thoughts & prayers. I wish you lots of sunny, happy days filled with love. Thank you for sharing your journey.
    Lynn xx

  • Joanne Says

    A truly remarkable lady. Such honesty and courage. My thoughts are with you and your family xxx

  • Shona Straiton Says

    Katie, I don’t know you personally but as a good friend of Laura & the Shannon family I can only imagine what you & your family are going through right now. Know that you are loved & your amazing strength & courage will live on in your beautiful children. Xx

  • jayne Says

    Hi Katie, So sorry to hear your news. You may not physically go into the future with your husband and children, but you will never leave them, as you are a part of them. You have shown them great courage and determination throughout your illness and as your children grow they will be so proud of their lovely mum. You have been honest and truthful to them, and should be proud of yourself with the children you have created. My partner left me a kiss on a teddy bear when he knew his time was near, so i could go and get it when ever i needed it. It might be an idea for your children. I am sending you BIG hugs. XXXXXXXXXXXX

  • Clare Higgins Says

    Devastated for you Katie ,…I know we have never met but I have been so inspired by your tough struggle….as a mother I’m acutely aware how bloody impossible the thought of not being there for your children must feel…I’ve said it before, I just can’t bear to think how I would feel if I had to put myself in that position. But you have had to, along with Stuart, who bytheway I also find to be incredible, you’ve had to put yourself on the firing line, so to speak. You have done this with amazing courage, dignity and a goddamn beautiful smile…your children will know of your bravery and strength and of how you fought this bas**** as hard as you could for their sake…. Be proud Katie as I’m sure all your family are of you xxx my love to you all xxx tissues needed xxx

  • Christine Oswin Says

    Katie prayers will be said for you all over the world Please go and see a medical herbalist there are so many things that can help Check out the life regenerator Dan mc donald on u tube Essiac also sold as Floressence cancer cannot live in an alkaline enviroment nettle tea tumeric Ihope and pray you get the right help over the years Ihave known so many people and achild who have been cured including my mum Bless you xxxxx

  • Rhys Powell Says

    Katie, reading this post was really hard to take in, yet this must be only a fraction of what you and Stuart have had to accept from the doctors. The fact that you have recorded your experiences in this blog and worked tirelessly in raising awareness of Bowel Cancer in order to save other lives, all when you are going through treatment just goes to show how much of a caring, generous loving person you really are.
    Sam and Sophie will grow up knowing that they have the best mum in the world, and that will never change.

    I say Katie, that it is you that is Amazeballs!

    I am really proud to say that I know you, and I am sending this message with the upmost respect for you and your family during this difficult time.

    Lots of love
    Rhys xx

  • Tiffany Malpas Says

    Katie, you are in my thoughts and prayers every day and have been since the day I discovered your blog and began following your journey. I think of you often and think i always will. I feel like I know you, and I wish I did as you are a lovely and amazing person. I cannot imagine how hard writing that blog must have been. Your kids will be so proud when they are older and read it x

  • sarah Says

    your blog was shared on a friend’s facebook page and I just wanted to say your bravery and honesty are truly an inspiration xx

  • Graham Hughes Says

    Such a strong family…amazing to read…I never understand why it is always the good people…I guess part of me thinks they have been selected for an amazing journey. ..how else can someone explane why the angels pick who they pick……I hope in my time I can gain an ounce of the strength you and your family have..its strange how to fininsh the message…wish it could be just a get well soon….but….. love to you and your family xxx.

  • Joanne Says

    Hi Katie,

    I’m glad you prepared me for the tissues as they were definately used, my heart is breaking for you and your wee family. I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel.

    You are an amazing lady and I am sure your husband, children, family and friends are very proud of.

    I hope your bucket list is fulfilled and I hope you get your trip to the seaside with your family.

    You are amazeballs!!

    God Bless x x

  • Ryan Press Says

    Really sorry to hear this Katie, you are an amazing person and I just want to send best wishes and thoughts to you and your family.

  • Rita Says

    Katie, I’ve never met you but I have been inspired by you by following you on twitter and this blog. Your children will grow up knowing their mum is brave, fought so hard to stay with them and most importantly of all that she loved them and stuart will know he shared his life with an amazeballs woman. All always in my thoughts xxxx

  • Although i dont know you personally i have followed your blog thru facebook and i am very sad to have read your latest news.You are a strong and beautiful person and if you had a flower for everyone that loves and cares about you i,m sure we would all be walking in a garden of colour forever.I hope you regain your strength to spend your days at the seaside with your family, you have inspired me to be a better person , i will never forget your courage. god bless you xxx

  • As I share this awful journey with you Katie, all we can do is know that we haven’t left any stone unturned,we have done all we can. Time is not up to the medical world any more so we just have to try and spend as much time as possible trying to stay positive and making memories for our loved ones. It’s such a difficult situation and I admire you strength. Always around if you wish to talk, your fellow traveller, Tony.

  • Lesley Davis Says

    Katie I think you are an utterly amazing and a truly inspirational lady, to be able to write this blog when your health is so weak shows your determination as a person. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family and I’m sure they will forever be proud of you. God Bless XXX

  • James England Says

    There are not enough words i can say i am devastated for you and your family. You have inspired so many people with your story and courage you have also raised awarness and educated on this creul and evil disease in young people, you have created a legacy that will never be forgotton
    Your beautiful children will grow up proud of their very special and amazeballs mum.
    As always my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Jsmes x

  • Su Lindsey Says

    Katie
    You are an inspiration to everyone around you and whose heart you have touched!
    Katie you will live on through your family and friends heart and memories, who will make sure your gorgeous children will know what an amazing woman their Mummy was.
    Your strength and determination will always be remembered by everyone who has followed your blog and hopefully encourage more donations to cancer research because of you Katie!
    Try to fulfil one of your bucket list
    Go to the beach with your family to feel the sand between your toes and the sea breeze in your hair and a smile on your face, this will be an everlasting memory you leave to your family.
    My heart aches for you
    BIG hug
    Su Lindsey ;0(( x

  • Giovanna Ardiri Says

    upset, angry, still can’t believe what I’ve just read!
    no words in whatsoever language to translate my thoughts and my mind and my prayers for you and Stu and your lovely kids…oh.. As a mother I would not be able to go through all this myself. As a woman…either! I admire you so much…Your family and yourself are amazing people!x

  • Kelley Says

    Dear Katie

    Like many others we’ve never met but I feel I know you and your family through your blogs & am amazed at your courage & honesty. It’s hard to believe how poorly you actually are now as your writing is still so engaging & moving, you still sound as strong as you did when you started fighting.
    Your strength & determination is so inspiring & when your children are old enough to read your blogs & understand the lengths you went too trying to beat & control cancer they will realise just what an amazing Mother they have.
    Do your best to get to the beach Mrs Amazeballs xx

  • Sharon Foston Says

    Katie – as an ‘old friend’ of your brother in law I have followed this all the way along – your journey has amazed me and inspired me in so many ways – WE take life SO much for granted – that tomorrow will ALWAYS be there – and in one way it will be – but what it holds is always an unknown entity. Your tomorrows will NEVER Stop Katie…we just dont know what they will hold for you – or whats waiting…memories youve made for the children wont ever fade, they will always be there – so..when the times right…take a deep breath and KNOW you did EVERYTHING possible to leave a legacy for your children and be at peace. I wish dearly that no-one had to say goodbye….you truely ARE AMAZEBALLS.

  • Amber Stitt Says

    Hi katie you dont no me but ur story is an inspiration to all people fighting cancer your such a strong woman and clearly u have a fantastic husband just wish u all the best and im sorry to hear you have had to go through this

  • James Grocock Says

    I have just read your blog,very moving!Quite the bravest I have read! I don’t really know what to say!
    To your husband and children,be as strong as you can be!
    Jim G.

  • Gill Robertson Says

    Hi Katie,
    My name is Gill, I am @paperdollybirds bestie, I just wanted to send you all the love and hugs I can, you are so brave and inspirational, I was devestated to lose Laura but I made a promise I will do all I can too help raise awareness #never2young and your name will always be beside Laura’s for everybit of fundraising we do.

    I have followed your story on your blog and on twitter and hope and pray for you everyday.

    Take the kids out of school and spend as much time as you possibly can with them. Precious memories.

    Love to you and your family.
    Hugs
    Gill xxx

  • Mandy Says

    Katie, you said “The cancer has beaten me”. No it hasn’t – it may have beaten your body but your determination, your spirit, your compassion and dignity; the cancer fought a battle with you on all of those and you won.

    Thank you for being an inspiration and touching our hearts xxxxx

  • emma Says

    Katie,

    I have never met you; however i needed to say my thoughts are with you and your family and i’m sure your husband and children will think of you every day and follow your beliefs and values as they grow up knowing their mummy/wife has fought hard and made everyone aware of your illness and raised money for a charity.

    #amazeballs will be a word your children will grow up knowing that this was their mummy.

  • Hi Katie. I don’t know you but a tweet from Deborah Alsina prompted me to read your blog and now I am in floods of tears. I think you and your family are amazing – other than that I don’t really know what to say other than keep strong. I lost my mum to bowel cancer 18 months ago. She never really shared her feelings but I think you’ve just made me realise what must also have been going through her head although she was of course older than you. Anyway, you clearly have the thoughts of a lot of people here. I have everything crossed that you get to the seaside. x

  • Sarah Says

    Hi Katie
    I live in the village and have heard your story through my friends who also know you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. Your courage is utterly amazing to me. Xxx

  • naomi cooper Says

    hi katie
    ive never met you but you are a truly amazing you are so strong you are an amazing woman you are a true inspiration im so sorry i dont know what else to say i have followed ure blog for the few months and have so wanted you to have so good news i have cried for you and now im like you angry why this is happening to such a strong woman and i dont know what to say im devastated
    naomi

  • Zoe Says

    Katie,I have never met you and from skating friends heard all about what is happening.There is just one thought that crosses my mind and I know that it won’t make it better…
    Your children and husband must know that it takes an exceptional person to talk about her problems,inspire the others,share their story,help people in any way and they have an exceptional person in their lives.
    Only few of us have the strengh of character and such pure soul to talk like that even when news are like that.
    Enjoy your kids and kids that are blessed with such beautiful parents will have a wonderful life

  • Mervyn Says

    Katie, if I could give you one thing in life,
    it would be the ability to see yourself as others see you, then you would realize what a truly special person you are. lol xxxxxx

  • Pam Ardis Says

    Katie

    Having just read your blog has moved me beyond words! My memories of you at Chris and Debbie’s wedding are of a beautiful radiant Matron of Honour along with your gorgeous kids, Sam and Sophie.

    Ever since I heard of your illness you have been in my thoughts and prayers every single day and I am so so sorry that you are having to go through this terrible disease!

    You are a wonderful, inspirational girl and I will continue to remember you, Stuart, Sam and Sophie …. Also your mum and dad and Stuart’s family!!

    I really hope you find out about Chris and Debbie’s baby and do try and get that trip to the seaside, feel the sand between your toes with your wonderful husband and beautiful children as soon as you can!!!

    God bless you darling and continue to be strong …. Stuart, Sam and Sophie have a truly amazing wife/mum and they will always be so proud of you!

    Big Big hugs and lots of love xxxxxxxxx

  • Emma Hadley Says

    Katie, our tears flow for all of you xxx you have never ever given up, facing and trying everything to beat this for you, for your gorgeous children, for Stuart, for your whole family and for all who you know xxxx never have we seen such determination and courage in anyone and a beautiful bright lights shines so amazingly over you xxxxxx my family and i send so much love and heartfelt thoughts to you, Stuart, Sam and Sophie.

  • Alison Says

    Katie, my heart goes out to you and your family. Having read your blogs over the past few months I have laughed and cried along the way. You are truly inspirational. Be at peace with yourself knowing you have given it your best shot. X

  • sarah hannaford Says

    I have read all yr blogs but have never commented. I am so so sorry & hope you arent in too much pain. Sending love & hugs xxxxxxxxx

  • Sonia Says

    Thinking of you Katie & your family, I’m so sorry. You are truly in my thoughts & my prayers & my love goes out to you, Stuart & your beautiful children. Lots of love Sonia xxx

  • Katie Hubbard Says

    Katie you are an amazing and brave person and your blog has touched so many people.

    You are always in my thoughts. Sending you lots of love xxxx

  • hey katie,

    i’m sure your tired of hearing it by now but stay strong and don’t give up.

    What was really alarming to me is the fact that you can hardly eat at the minute as that means your not getting the nutrients or energy required for your body to be even able to try to fight back. I did send you a message on sunday through facebook about the article on intravenous vit c from the Riordan clinic, but what you might want to consider talking to you doctor about is possible doing that along with adding other vitamins, especially those that might help your liver, and glucose to boost your energy levels, done through a drip (as putting the glucose in, in one go would be a bad idea).

    While you may not be able to watch your children grow up, have you considered recording some video’s to be shown on special days (school graduation, wedding, etc etc). so that at least when there older they will still have memories and advice of you. You may also want to add a few extra for your daughter, as i’m sure there are some topics that your husband (or any other right thinking man) wouldn’t really want to discuss indepth if you get what i mean :D

  • Katie Says

    Hi Katie,
    Just to echo what others have said – you are an absolute inspiration and your legacy will continue to live on through your beautiful children. The strength and determination that you have shown will always be remembered, you really are a fantastic woman and mother. Your blog has taught me so much about life and what is important – so for that I cannot thank you enough. When it rains look for rainbows and when it is dark, look for stars. K xxx

  • Martin Says

    You are an amazing lady Katie, a true inspiration! My thoughts are with you and your family. x

  • Leanne Says

    Dear Katie

    I was deeply touched reading your story in the Belfast Telegraph. I just want to share a little poem for you:

    RESCUE ME

    In the quiet I feel you with me,
    Through my tears, I see your face
    You give me hope when the world crashes around me
    And through life’s trials you offer grace
    You are my light in the darkest hour
    You are the calm on a raging sea
    When it is stormy, You are my rainbow
    Oh God, my Father, please rescue me
    Jesus wrap your arms around me
    Give me strength to endure this day
    The road ahead is filled with sorrow
    And I’m afraid I’ll lose my way
    I know that one day I’ll see the blessing
    I know in time this pain will end
    Thank you Jesus for being with me
    You are my Saviour, my closest Friend

    (Sue Lucck Carlom)

    Praying that you will know God’s peace, His Presence and His light will shine upon you at this time. There is hope, this is not the end. God bless you sister…..xo

  • MrsB Says

    Sending you love and strength. You are an inspirational woman and my heart goes out to you. xx

  • Sharon Says

    Katie – you don’t know me but I have followed your blog since last year. I want to go out and shout at the sky: NOOO. THIS ISN’T MEANT TO HAPPEN, STOP NOW. I can’t imagine the desperation and angst you must be feeling. Really angry for you.

  • Elaine Hooper Says

    Hi Katie

    The tears were rolling dowm my cheeks as I read your blog. My heart is breaking for you and your family. So much so it has taken me days to thinh what to say but still suitable words elude me. I hope you all get to come down here to the South Coast.
    I know with family support your children will never forget the person you are.
    Mine were both under 10 when we experienced a similar situation with their daddy and as adults they still talk about him all the time. Your children will be the same.
    My family and I are thinking about you family today. Your strength and determination show what a wonderful and amazing person you are. You HAVE made a difference

  • Mollie O'Reilly Says

  • sophia Says

    Katie, you should be so proud of youself, you’re an amazing lady. Wish there was something I could do….

    Love and hugs to you all xxx

  • Kerry Greer Says

    To my Katie,

    My first best friend…. My inspiration…. You know how I feel in my heart for you, for your gorgeous little family. I am truly devastated by this cruel journey you have had to travel. There is no point in asking why you? why cancer? Why now? Because I have no answers… All I can do is have faith in my heart that there is a reason for all of this.

    I still laugh when I think of making figure skating programmes in your front room to Michael Jackson and Hooked on Classics! We used to dream of winnung the World figure skating championships and the Olympics!!! I remember when we ‘changed’ our surnames because we wanted to be Russian! We would steal Christopher’s racing bike and ride around Gilnahirk like we were on an adventure of a lifetime! Meeting boys in caravan parks and falling in love!!! We had such a wonderful childhood, and I will always carry those memories with me.

    Thank you for allowing my half-baked idea to raise awareness and funds develop into Team Katie and our two gala shows. Our first annual gala was a huge success and I’m sure we will continue with the same determination that you have shown throughout your journey.

    Thank you for letting me get to know Stuart, Sam and Sophie… Your beautiful children are a credit to you and Stuart. You should be so proud.

    I could go on and on, but I suppose the most important thing I want to say to you is ‘I love you.’ Xxxxx

  • Avril Says

    Words fail me, expressing myself is useless. I only wish there is something I could do that would bring you health and further your happiness. You are a real inspiration and you will leave behind a great wealth of inspiration to those following in your footsteps. Please God help this poor lady I do not know and I hope you know Jesus as your Saviour in these days. John3 v 16

  • I heard about this from a woman who is studying with Debora King, a woman who used shamanism, and I heard about it so recently before reading your blog on the adult skater page I had to share these pages with you, maybe you can get SCENAR.This seems grounded in proof of people though I’ve not had personal experience, but i know there have been cures of cancer, using things we wouldn’t think of.
    http://www.scenarintheusa.com/testimonial-s/stories-of-people-in-pain/

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/138343119665317/
    Another woman I know had a mother who prolonged her life 3 years after she was told she was dying by starting drinking a couple of kombucha teas a day. That is a mushroom culture available in health sections . I wish you your best efforts work at this, I can only offer this and that there is hope in any way you can think of, just believe in things that may take some challenge to believe, they are at most true, like consciousness after the body, you can communicate, you can prepare meanings through objects like leaving this painting, you will dream about it, tell to your family members- to recall and use the support of that in waking also, my uncle did it with me and communicated, just do that.

  • Rachel Hewlett Says

    You are truly an inspiration. I felt that I needed to tell you that you are an amazing woman even though I haven’t met you. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers xxxx

  • Carol Buchanan Says

    Katie you have such courage. I am so sorry for what you and your dear family are coming through. Can i urge you, if you have not done so already to accept the Lord Jesus into your life. He has promised that nothing, even death itself, can separate His children from Him. He loves you so much and died for you. He will strengthen you and your family in these difficult days. Praying much for you. Psalm 46 verse 1 says God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. May you know the peace of God. Xx

  • Marcel Says

    Katie, I am deeply sorry for
    what you are going through. I am a middle-age woman but have recently lost my mother and it is very painful, however gives me peace to know (and feel) that her soul is in peace in the inmensity of God’s love. The only way I am dealing with my sorrow is understanding the love from God, how He blesed me with a mom like her. I hope your husband and kids feel that the only love that will fill their void and will help them through their pain is learning about Jesus love for us. We will alldie, we are souls, and we return to be 100% souls. Don’t be so sad.Life on earth is just a quick moment. Your true existence as mine as everybody’s is as souls next and close to God. May he blesses you and your beloved family. TRUST that they will be comforted by the blessing that you meant to them. Love and peace to you. All will be fine and peaceful. God bless you dear Kate.

  • lee Says

    dear Katie I wish my words could heal, I wish I could donate time, time for you to spend with loved ones, but most of all I wish this disease did not exist. You are brave even if you do not feel it. You are in my thoughts x

  • leigh Says

    I have just learnt this morning from one of Katie’s friends that she has lost her battle and is now at rest. I wish to pass on to Katie’s family how truly sorry I am to hear this. I have been following katies blog and found her truely inspirational. I only hope someday her children read this and understand just how strong their mummy was. Rest in peace Katie <3

  • Elizabeth Says

    Just paying my respects. I didn’t know you, I have just read your story online and I was in tears reading it. You were only two years older than i am, how cruel to be taken away so quickly. May your family in time begin to come to terms with this, I am sure your kids will grow up so very proud of you. Rest in peace. Xx

  • Nicola Says

    I lost my Mum to bowel cancer just over a year ago, and at the time I was 2 weeks away from giving birth to my first child. I know how devestating this disease is, but I never felt that I truely understood what my Mum was thinking and must have been going through. This blog has helped me to understand. What a courageous woman you were Katie. It angers me so much to think that this disease can cause so much hurt and distruption to peoples lives. Your heart will live on in your children. Rest in peace .

  • Sam Says

    RIP Katie :'(

    As I quote from Demi Lovato “stay strong”.

  • Deb Lewis Says

    May your children, family and friends find strength from your inspirational words. As someone who has lost key people in my life, they have never left me. They are in my head and heart and still, through their advice, help me to make important decisions. Enjoy the skating.

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