Daughter of Les & Joan Allan and sister to Chris, Katie originated from Belfast and settled in Fradley, Staffordshire with husband, Stuart, and two children, Sam and Sophie.

Katie wrote this blog to share her story, improve awareness and spread inspiration & positivity amongst families, friends and others 'battling cancer - one day at a time'

Katie Scarbrough
04 March 1981 - 02 May 2013

Sit Back And Wait For The Fallout……..

Nothing can really prepare you for having Cancer and the ups and downs that go along with it, until you actually go through it. Even then it can seem very surreal. Everything from all the tests you do have and you really should have had, the different doctors you meet along the way, all the advice you get given and how diagnosis is done and realising its not 100% definite. There are so many bumps in the road you start to question if the highly trained doctors with letters after their name are getting it right. You even start to thing back and question the what ifs? What if I had just taken my Crohns doctor by the neck and made him do something more than say ‘You are on the right medication for you’. Should have I Googled my symptoms and made him test me for cancer there and then, so this could have been caught earlier. They do say the earlier Cancer is diagnosed the better the outlook. I am just so angry that none of this is my fault, I put myself out there and was being seen regularly by a ‘medical expert’!!

On Monday night, I watched a program on Channel 4, which is running along side Stand Up To Cancer, about an amazing group of people. They all have or had cancer and were brought together to form a choir called The Big C. After some training they ended up singing at the Royal Albert Hall. Many of them at the start couldn’t sing to begin with, they wanted to prove that singing helped with the positivity of battling through cancer. I’m going to make sure I sing when I’m in the shower, that way no one can hear me. Yes, I was upset from watching it, but really it was because when they spoke about their individual stories I realised the thoughts they had about being diagnosed with cancer and going through it where exactly the same as the thoughts that go through my head. They are definitely a very inspirational group of people.

Yesterday was my first chemotherapy of my new Ovarian treatment after the previous Bowel Chemotherapy hadn’t worked. I kept making nervous jokes trying to get out of going through it. When the cancer nurse would routinely ask my date of birth before attaching a bag of fluid I gave Stuarts date of birth instead!! I knew I had to have it done no matter how hard it was. This probably sounds so silly but for me the hardest thing to deal with, with this new treatment is that my hair is going to fall out. I can deal with the tiredness, sickness (to some extent) and the redness of the hands and feet. But the loss of my hair scares me.  Its probably because I’m unsure how the kids will react. Like preparing me we have tried to prepare them. But preparation and actually going through it are two different things. I have soo many worries of how they are going to take it, more so Sam. I don’t want his friends to take it the wrong way and say horrible things about me to him, as some kids (not within his close group) can be nasty and that won’t help the situation. I’m not saying they will, but this is the stuff I worry about.

I ordered three wigs a couple of weeks ago through the hospital. I get to chose one and send two back, however one of them is now discontinued, so I get to chose one and send one back. Or if I want to buy the second one. They are both a chestnut colour as I wanted to keep them as close to my original colour as possible. The lengths are mid length and quite similar in style. I have also bought a couple of hats and a couple of scarves. I’m going to have to go on Youtube later to see how to tie the scarves as I have absolutely no idea!! The other thing I’m going to have to learn is to draw my eyebrows on, never had to do that as my eyebrows have always been quite thick. It will probably take a couple of weeks for my hair to start to fall out…..hence why this blog has the title it does.

As a family we have a few things coming up to look forward to. Next week we have Disney On Ice at the NIA and two days after that we are going to see my family and friends in Belfast for a few days. The kids are so excited by both but secretly Sophie is more excited about seeing Mickey and Minnie Mouse…lol

So far after yesterdays Chemo, touch wood, I feel ok. My magical anti sickness tablet seems to have worked. I do feel abit drained at the moment, but that is to be expected.

I think this blog is turning more into a book so I best stop here.


PS Thank you Scott for doing the blog yesterday I know how eager you were to do one…..lol  xxx


  • Natalie Says

    Katie, unless you have been through what you are going through you really cannot begin to imagine the things going through your head. I can totally understand your worries regarding the hair loss, and I am sure those worries affect everyone going through it too, so you are not alone, and have such wonderful support to jolly you along through this. I have everything crossed that Sam will not have to endure any ignorant comments from others. I’m not sure anything I say can be of benefit to you, but really wanted to let you know you really are very much in my thoughts and I really do wish you all the very best through this treatment. You are doing marvellously and you are be brave to be so open in your feelings, which can only be a positive thing for others going through the same x x x

  • Kerry Greer Says

    Hey, Katie. Firstly, your bravery is amazing…. Never mind all the twists and turns and ups and downs of having cancer, you have decided to put yourself out there and help others with this blog. You should be so proud of yourself. Maybe you don’t remember but when we were little skating my eldest brother Stephen had testicular cancer. I was maybe only 6 or 7 and I remember every detail of those hard times. I remember his hair falling out and how he made jokes to make everything seem ok. He never cried or got upset around me and I thought he was a real life superhero! How could he go through all this and still put my feelings first?!? I guess it’s just what you do when there are kids involved. I know that you will handle everything exactly as you should, and that the kids will come through everything too. Just think how strong you’re wee family is!!! The last thing I want to say Is sing song sing sing sing!!!!!! Sing when you are alone? Sing when you’re at home, in the car…. Hell sing at the top of your lungs in tescos! Who cares?!!!!! (Ps… I found mad old skating photos when I was getting stuff ready for the wedding!!!!!!! Embarrassing!!!! But I’ll get them uploaded soon…. Just for giggles!) xxx

  • Hi Katie
    I had breast cancer five years ago and had to have a mastectomy.
    I also had chermo and lost my hair. My grand daughter was three at the time and I was really nervous about her seeing me with hair. Like all children she just laughed when her granddad called me ‘baldylocks’. trust my hubby.
    I didn’t bother with the wig or the scarves. They are a real pain to do. I just bought myself some hats, wacky and normal. I also went to find out how to apply makeup in a different way. Without hair your get to see how beautiful the face really is. After a while even the hats hit the bin and I walked about with my baldy locks showing to the world. loud and proud. Katie believe me it’s so liberating.
    Good luck with your war on cancer and just fight one battle at a time. Nobody wins a war in a day. It took me a long time. But I’m still here and haven’t had a battle to fight for a long time. I always spell cancer with a little ‘c’.
    As for doctors.Well my husband says they are just like mechanics, some good, some not so good…..Good Luck

    • Hi Sue,
      Thank you for sharing this with me. My son does call me baldy even though my hair hasn’t fallen out yet. I think for me, the wigs and scarves are more to help the children deal with it. But you are right they may just take it as it comes.
      I am so glad that you have fought the big fight, you are an inspiration.
      Take Care
      Katie xxxxx

  • Fi Says

    When I read your blog it makes me appreciate how lucky I am and my mum was – she had bowl cancer and although it wasnt pleasant and her chemo was a struggle she didn’t have to go through quite as many trials and tribulations as you are dealing with.

    Maybe you could shave your head rather than waiting for the possible effects of chemo so that you are in control of what happens to your hair?

    Hopefully the following will make you smile a bit bit rather than just sound flippant x

    On the plus side, you wont get nits!

    You wont get Dandruff.

    You wont have to spend ages in the shower.

    You won’t have to spend ages trying to get those annoying tangles from ‘sex hair’ out.

    You can have a Cat fight & win by yanking the other bi’atches Pony tail and be like ‘Yeah! What you gonna do about it!’

    Other fighting Moves – you can also stick chewing gum in theirs or other gunky stuff that would take ages to wash out.

    If you should accidentally drop a brick on your head, or other heavy object, it’s a lot easier to fix.

    If you get a few fab wigs you can try out new looks without spending four hours in the hairdressers making small talk and pretending to smile politely and inhailing tiny snippings up your nose whislt they ruin your hair, overcharge you and then make you feel obliged to tip them on top, before going home crying & washing it all out.

    You wont get hair blowing in your mouth or sticking to your lip gloss.

    You will never have to go ‘oh bugger it’s raining and I’ve just spent an hour straightening my hair – it’s going to look like a birds nest by the time I get to the pub.’

    You will not accidentally get hair in your food.

    If there is hair in your food you can unequivocally blame some one else certain in the knowledge it’s definitely not yours!

    You can dress up in DMs Jeans and a Paul Smith Shirt & Braces and a. fit in with the 80s fashion crowd a la ‘THIS IS ENGLAND’ b. look slightly intimidating & terrorise people with your dead’ard look.

    You can wear what you like on your head comfortably with out the fear of ‘hat hair’ – There are some gorgeous winter hats.

    You can get some nice silk head scarfs too and youd be ‘on trend’ with the 1940s look.

  • Susan Gilmour Says

    Hi Katie,
    Just to wish you all the luck in the world with your latest treatment.I am sure the children will be fine with it all-try and keep things as normal as you can–very hard, i know..Also, Hope you and your family enjoy all the fun things that you have coming up!!
    Love -Susan and David xx

  • Jenny Clancy Says

    Katie, you may wonder who on earth I am, but a friend called Derren passed on your blog to me, as I too am in the middle of cancer treatment.
    I’ve started chemo and am waiting for the fallout, and found a brilliant supplier of scarves, beanie hats etc. They’re pre-tied, good prices and good quality. Maybe you’d like to have a look? Annabandana.co.UK is the site.

    I really understand and share your concern about losing your hair. Up to now I’ve looked fine (ok, a bit frail after the ops, but nothing lipstick couldn’t fix) and don’t want to be magically morphed into a ‘victim’ whilst going through treatment. Let’s hope the wigs, scarves and wooly hats work to keep our confidence up in difficult times 🙂

    Good luck to you in your treatment.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload the CAPTCHA.


All images and content contained within this site remain copyright of their respective owners.

Use or reproduction is strictly prohibited without prior, written consent.