Daughter of Les & Joan Allan and sister to Chris, Katie originated from Belfast and settled in Fradley, Staffordshire with husband, Stuart, and two children, Sam and Sophie.

Katie wrote this blog to share her story, improve awareness and spread inspiration & positivity amongst families, friends and others 'battling cancer - one day at a time'

Katie Scarbrough
04 March 1981 - 02 May 2013

CT Scan Results

I knew that in the past two weeks my health has gotten that little bit worse. Which happened pretty quick to be fair as the last week leading up to Christmas I had felt really good going to the Christmas Plays at school. I was even able to breathe my tummy in which I hadn’t been able to do before. So without saying too much out loud, I thought the chemo may be working.

Typically for me and the bout of bad luck I have, around Christmas Eve I started feeling queasy, that my tummy had gotten bigger and harder, I wasn’t able to eat the amount I wanted too and I had a metallic taste in my mouth. In hindsight, I wish I hadn’t put off my chemo by a week and put off the CT Scan I had had arranged for the middle of December when I was at my best.  The doctors did say that that wouldn’t have made any difference.

As I said in my last blog I pushed through Christmas as best I could because I didn’t want my health to ruin yet another thing, especially knowing potentially it could be my last one.

Stuart and I took his parents to the hospital yesterday for morale support. I went in knowing things weren’t great due to how I was feeling. Dr Keni told us that the tumor on my Liver has gotten bigger and the cancer has now spread to two points in my bones on my back. The tumor in my Bowel is stable. She did explain why I have been feeling the way I have due to everything pushing on my Liver, and that’s why I have the metallic taste in my mouth and the sickness. After hearing this, and even writing it now on here, I had a massive lump in my throat  and I knew if I started crying I wouldn’t be able to hold it together.

And breathe… Ok the options. Dr Keni has referred me to a few hospitals around the country who specialise in Clinical Trials. Clinical Trials are treatments that have not yet been tried and tested. In the meantime my doctor has put me forward for a biological treatment called Cetuximab. It is known as a Monoclonal Antibodies they work by targeting specific proteins on the surface of the cells. I won’t go into too much information on this because I haven’t even read up on it myself.

This is the first time I have been able to talk about yesterday….well just about. I have to say this blog has been a struggle. I can’t even talk to my mum and dad yet about it ( sorry mum and dad) because I’d end up breaking down in tears and I am trying to hold that back as crying makes me feel more queasy. Stuart has had to do all the talking for me.

I can only say I feel numb at the minute.  I do know that when Cancer gets in the bones, that really isn’t a good sign and its hard to get back from there. I keep wishing that Damon and Stefan from the Vampire Diaries would come and feed me their blood, then kill me and I would be come an immortal vampire. Or Edward and Carlisle would come and bite me with their venom!! That way I know I would be around for a really long time.

I had another Chemo treatment today as I know I feel better on it, so we will see how that goes.

Thank you everyone who has been keeping up to date with my journey so far. This is not me giving up, this is just me trying to come to terms with what I have been told.

xxxxx

PS Sorry if this gets any of you upset, I probably should have put a warning at the beginning xx

17 Comments

  • Kiersty Says

    Thinking if you as always. Lots and lots of love to you and the family. xxxx

  • olga Says

    Oh Katie, I am so sorry, I don´t know what to tell you right now, I can´t think of anything to sooth you now. I know only two well nothing can put you at ease when you look at Stuart and the kids. I can only tell you not to loose hope, sometimes, most times, positiveness makes all the diferent in the world. YOU DESERVE to get well. You are so beautiful, and yes, I am crying as i write this, because I only wish you the best. Take care of yourself Katie, and be strong. All my love, Olga xxx

  • Natalie Says

    Katie….. Stuart, Sam,Sophie, your parents, your Nan, your brother and Debbie, Stuarts brother and partner, you mother and father in law, the rest of your family, your friends, the Drs, Nurses, EVERYONE is here to help and support you through the journey ahead. I know you will not give up, I know you will tackle each step head on in same admirable way you have done so far, and I know you will do everything within your capabilities to stand strong against any obstacles, and even if that involves becoming an immortal vampire!

    I like the idea of the clinical trials and wish you much success with these.

    I hope this weeks chemo does not knock you around too much and as always I a, sending my love to you and your family.

    There are going to be lots of emotional times ahead for you all, and us your friends, never feel alone in this Katie, because we are all behind you to support you and help you in any way we possibly can.

    I admire you for sharing this so soon.
    X x x x x

  • Sue Says

    Hi Katie, we have never met, but I have followed your story via Natalies FB – we used to work together a long time ago.

    I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your very private battle. It must be incredibly difficult to write about your illness and your fears- but I’m guessing it also helps you to share.

    The C word seems to fill people with such dread and despair ,,but you show this magnitude of strength and a determination to beat this bastard. Keep fighting… this may seem cliche…but I firmly believe that having a postive mental approach really does help and there are so many people supporting you from afar with your fight.

    A dear friend of mine has just started radiotherapy for prostate cancer and he is battling his demons…but winning … and it seems to me that if cancer is beaten by strength – you will nail it.

    When I was ill a few years ago – a friend sent me a card with a note on it… it just simply read- ‘think white sheets and blue skies ‘…and I loved that thought ..it made me feel safe even when I was feeling so poorly.

    Take care
    Sue x

  • Lucy Says

    Oh Katie. I don’t even know what to say.
    Just know that we think of you often and are always here for you.
    I will still keep my thoughts positive as I refuse to believe anything else.
    Anything you need, just say the word.
    Lots of love xxxx

  • Gemma samson Says

    Thinking of you, praying for you, crossing fingers, toes, hair and anything else possible for you!
    You are a fighter! NEVER EVER give up hope, we are all behind you, Stuart, Sam & Sophie 100% and sending every possible positive vibe your way! Keep that chin up and stay strong!
    Clinical trials have achieved an awful lot so far, go for it girl! You have been in mine & Petes thoughts a lot recently, please know how many people are sending love and support your way!

    Much Belfast Love,
    Gemma & Pete
    Xxxxxxxx

  • Ash Brough Says

    You are an inspiration, to everybody and especially cancer fighters. Keep fighting. Ash x

  • susan gilmour Says

    Not the Blog that we were hoping for–but–Katie, you and your family are solid and so so supportive–you have people. like me who have never met you that are thinking of you and willing it all to go well–Nobody knows what is round the corner, so live each day one at a time—if you ever need to chat, email us..with our love–Susan and David xxx

  • Win Says

    Hi Katie, I am on Cetuximab at the moment. Done 7 out of the planned 12. If you want to know more, please feel free to email me at lmjwuyts@hotmail.com
    Was diagnosed with bowel cancer, spread to the liver on 23/12/10. Had bowel surgery, 12 chemo sessions, liver resection, another 12 chemo sessions and now cancer has been found in my spine. BUT still fighting!
    I know it is hard but hang in there! Sending you strength & love, Win xx

  • fiona Says

    Hi Katie, I’ve never met you but I’m a friend of Natalie’s (i know her from running club). I moved out to Dubai in Sept but have been following your blog.Coincidentally I’d just gone on to check how you were doing the day before you recently posted – I was hoping and praying that things were going well for you and so gutted to hear that it wasn’t the news we were all hoping for.. I’ve been inspired and moved to tears on several occasions by your blogs. You sound like an amazing lady with a fantastic family behind you. I often think about you and your family and often send positive vibes your way. Fingers, toes and everything else crossed re future treatments. I just feel so humbled by your attitude and courage. xx

  • susan gilmour Says

    No Words –Just a MASSIVE hug xxxxx

  • Andy McIver Says

    Hi Katie, I am a work mate of Chris. Just wanted to say – the very best of luck and warm wishes from Belfast.

  • Margaret Johnston Says

    Hi Katie. I work with Chris. I want you to know that you are often in my thoughts and prayers as is all your family at this time. x

  • Keep strong Katie great blog.

  • Rob Meakin Says

    Hi Katie
    Just read your post. Don’t know how far advanced you are but this may help. In 2005 one of my friends was diagnosed with kidney cancer with 3 tumours in his liver. Both Nottingham and Birmingham hospitals said his liver was inoperable bit he ended up seeing Mr Giles Toogood @ St James hospital in Leeds. He’s still going strong!
    I was diagnosed in Feb 2012 with Bowel cancer along with 6 mets in my liver. Nottingham said that I was “borderline” and if they could operate at all it would be an op in August to remove most of the tumours followed by another to remove the rest once it had regenerated. I wasn’t taking that! I got my Oncologist to refer me to Mr Toogood and then paid £230 for an initial private consultation, the rest was done on the NHS. He operated on July 19th and successfully removed all 6 tumours in 4 hours. I was left with 25% of my liver which has almost now fully regenerated. Had bowel surgery in September to remove my primary followed by 4 chemo courses to mop up. Just found another tumour outside my bowel, but being refered to Christies at Manchester for this one.
    If he can help (Mr Toogood) he will. His secretary’s no is 0113 2066 300.
    Good luck with all your treatments.
    Rob Meakin. @robmeakin1

  • Anna Says

    You are seriously one strong, beautiful, intelligent, resilient, lady.

    Well done on hitting that jackpot. My best
    wishes are with you.

    Anna

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